


My Queen // Harry Styles AU

by Little_Dove



Category: Harry Styles - Fandom, One Direction (Band)
Genre: AU, Affairs, Alternate Universe - No One Direction, Alternate Universe - Royalty, F/M, Falling In Love, Fanfiction, Kings & Queens, Love, Queen - Freeform, Romance, Royalty, harry styles au
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-01-11
Updated: 2017-02-18
Packaged: 2018-09-16 18:52:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 23,094
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9285434
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Little_Dove/pseuds/Little_Dove
Summary: I rose to my feet slowly, brushing off my trousers quickly before I made my way towards my queen.  When I got within close enough proximity, I took in the sights of what it was like to be this near her.  She was definitely not a fourteen year old girl anymore, no, she was a woman.  She had breasts that she didn't hide like most women, allowing them to be seen as well as the rest of her pale figure in her trademark dress.  It had these sleeves that were only a few inches long and they never seemed to do their job in staying on her shoulders as they rested calmly on the sides of her arms.  And, oddly enough, she wasn't wearing gloves like every other woman with some form of money did.  Up close, her face seemed that much more beautiful, but it was also more threatening.  When you were only steps away from her, you could feel just how powerful she was and how strongly she carried herself.  She was a force to be reckoned with and, for reasons I couldn't comprehend, I was so excited by it.





	1. Part 1.

“She's coming! Straighten yourself, boy! She's coming!” My mother's hand hit my shoulder with her hissed words and, like I was supposed to, I took a knee in anticipation for the queen of Westden to arrive.

Ah, yes, our queen. She was definitely one for the books, I can tell you that. She was the only child to our late and beloved King Julien II and Queen Eliza. King Julien was always a nice man, but he was also traditional in the way he ran his country. He had a firm hand and was known for desperately trying to live up to his father, King Julien I, who had ruled for many years and was a very loved man.

Enter Eliza. She was a common woman who had easily caught King Julien's eye. She was the embodiment of beauty, long dark hair with fair skin and soft, yet fixed features. He fell in love with her and it wasn't long before she became our queen. At first, many people, mostly royals from other kingdoms and our dukes and ladies, were nervous she was there for the fame and fortune and would drive Westden into a horrible state. However, she did quite the opposite. Not only did she soften our king, but she was an incredibly honorable lady herself.

Throughout her time as queen, she would walk the streets almost daily and visit shelters and stores to help with whatever she could. She may have had to have a guard or two with her, but that hardly dehumanized her. She was said to be the most kind woman in the world. I don't remember her much, I was young, but I do know the tales of her. Even when she was pregnant and had her daughter, she would come around. As the child got older, she would bring her along and it made her just as kindhearted. Though it was clear she was her father's child, she was still nice to her people.

However, everything went downhill whenever Queen Eliza got sick. It's said her illness derived from her always being around the lower classes and orphanages and not caring who touched her. Most people say that, even if that was true, it didn't stop her from loving her people. Her public appearances lessened and, a month after they discovered she was ill, she passed. It caused a massive hole in everyone's heart, we all felt like we knew her and now she was gone. And no one know how that would affect the king.

King Julien and his daughter didn't appear in the streets for awhile after her death. It was almost a year before they began to be more open to their people again. The princess began to come out and do as her mother had, only with four or five guards with her since she was only thirteen and I don't believe her father could take another heartbreak. She was kind as before, but it was clear she was different She didn't smile as much.

Four years later, on the princess' seventeenth birthday, the whole kingdom celebrated. She was coming of age. I recall my friends and I fawning over her as she was paraded through the town, waving and greeting her people. It was such a massive event, so massive that she wasn't even informed that her father had passed until the next day. His heart had given out. And she was his only heir.

This death had clearly been different for her than her mother's had been, it was a bigger impact we think. Possibly because of all the responsibility he had bestowed on her in his untimely death. She was silent at his burial and she kept a strong face as she walked through the city with her guards following her, even staying strong and silent as the town began to whisper how she was going to find a king to assist her in ruling our country. That caused a massive panic, everyone was terrified she would bring in someone quickly out of grief and he would be horrible. But, she didn't.

Exactly a week after her father's death, she called a gathering. Everyone attended as she stood on her stage and announced she would be taking the throne—alone. It ignited whispers, I remember this clearly. It had been so massive and unheard of in our history to have a queen rule without a king by her side. But, eventually, one by one, everyone took a knee and bowed to our new queen. A queen who never smiled, a queen who was stern and hard, but an amazing and loyal queen nonetheless.

There was a time that I had actually met her. I wasn't super low class or super high class, so I didn't get the option to meet her often like some others. But there was a time she was walking the streets for the first time after her mother had died, her hair was slicked back and long with the same dark colour that her mother's had and it flowed down her back like a goddess. I had been staring instead of bowing, so my mother had tried to yank me down to bow. This, though, led to me tumbling right into her path and onto her feet. My immediate reaction was that she was going to have me thrown in jail for even daring to touch her, this was her first appearance and no one knew how she would react. So I quickly got on my knees and pleaded for her forgiveness, even at ten I knew that's what you do when a princess is on your bad side. However, she merely smiled and helped me to my feet, seemingly not bothered that dirt from my hands had passed onto her clean ones. She had told me it was a pleasure to meet me before she allowed my mother to pull me back out of the way. It was the best day of my life, I'll tell you, I bragged to my friends to this day about that moment.

But now it's been four years since she had become queen and she comes outside around once a week. I usually miss her because I'm working with my father in the fields, but today I happened to be blessed with her presence.

Queen Clara walked down the street with her head up high. Her mouth was a firm line and her hair was like I remembered, slicked back, dark, and long. Now, it trailed past her bum until it found it's stopping point at her thighs and was topped with a crown. Her face was decorated with make-up that made her look even more fierce than she already did, her eyes being completely surrounded in black to match her almost risque off-white dress that meaningless trained through the dirt on the ground. She was surrounded with four guards, two on each side of her and each one as threatening as the other.

I watched her in awe as she moved in what seemed like slow motion. She was very clearly in another world as she let us bow to her. I took that as a sign that I could stare at her when everyone else looked toward her feet or the ground. I looked at her face and her hair and her body and her...

“Wait.” her voice stunned nearly everyone on the street. It was deeper than most girl's I knew and it was definitely more stern. “You. Boy with the strange hair.” I gulped as I looked to the people around me even as they all stared at me, mostly at my curly hair that hung to my shoulders. My father always did say I should cut it so I didn't look like a wall of hair. Regardless, I pointed to myself to clarified. “Yes. Come here, child.” The hair on the back of my neck stood as she called me child even if I was only four years younger than her. She was known to call everyone that, regardless of their age. I believe it made her feel more like she was supposed to hold the title she did.

I rose to my feet slowly, brushing off my trousers quickly before I made my way towards my queen. When I got within close enough proximity, I took in the sights of what it was like to be this near her. She was definitely not a fourteen year old girl anymore, no, she was a woman. She had breasts that she didn't hide like most women, allowing them to be seen as well as the rest of her pale figure in her trademark dress. It had these sleeves that were only a few inches long and they never seemed to do their job in staying on her shoulders as they rested calmly on the sides of her arms. And, oddly enough, she wasn't wearing gloves like every other woman with some form of money did. Up close, her face seemed that much more beautiful, but it was also more threatening. When you were only steps away from her, you could feel just how powerful she was and how strongly she carried herself. She was a force to be reckoned with and, for reasons I couldn't comprehend, I was so excited by it.

“Who are you? What is your title?” she demanded of me, taking a step closer to me to show I had not come as close as she wanted. Her guards closed around me along with her, making me feel like I had been sucked into a trap by the intoxicating sight of a beautiful woman.

“Uh, Styles is my family name, your majesty. We run the market.” I'd like to say I sounded like the man I was, but I more sounded like a little boy. My voice was fragile, just like my ego felt being this close to her. But I swear I almost saw her smile. “We supply the market from my mother's side with-”

“I understand, child. Is this where you reside?” she asked, looking past me and towards our little market that we lived above and I nodded. “I see. Tell me, what are you called?” I blinked hard a few times, trying to make sure this was all real. This woman of absolute perfection, the queen, was just asking me questions as she pulled me out of a crowd. What are the odds?

“Harry. I'm called Harry.” Queen Clara nodded, looking me up and down for a moment.

“Pleasure.” Part of me was tempted to take her hand and give it a kiss, but I didn't know if it was the right thing to do given the fact she didn't hold it out to me. However, usually when women say 'pleasure', you're supposed to kiss their hand. That's what I was taught. “Goodbye.”

Then, almost like it never happened, she began to walk forward and her guards followed suit and I was left there staring at where she had been. God, this was probably the greatest day of my life. She just talked to me and she knows my name. She said it was a pleasure to meet me. Well, a pleasure, but still.

“Oh my god, sweetheart.” My mother's voice gushed, pulling me both out of my trance and out of the road. “The queen just spoke to you. To you, to my son!”

“I'm aware.” I said, finding myself smiling.

“What did she say? I mean, I heard, but what does she want? What if she fancies you? Oh, the queen is interested in my boy!” my mother rambled, grabbing my cheeks in her hands after we stepped back into the market. I rolled my eyes, puling my face away from her.

“It was probably nothing. Maybe she wanted to seem like she was interested in her people, so she spoke to me.” I tried to say, but my mother wasn't listening. Her face was red with glee as she began to think of all the reasons the queen would want to speak to me just by seeing me on the street.

“What if she courts you!” she gasped. I looked at her strangely, knowing very well that a woman, especially one of her status, doesn't court a man. The man courts her. That's how life works. And, truth be told, I couldn't court a queen if I wanted to. I'm far too awkward and I don't have any impressive clothing or money at all for that matter. Plus, I'm sure if I tried to court Queen Clara, she would have my head in a basket. She's not exactly cruel, but she creates an almost threatening atmosphere around her being because of how much she just wasn't outgoing.

“That would never happen.” I laughed, making my way behind the counter to continue my day's work as my mother went on to ramble about our encounter with the queen.

* * *

Over the next week or so, things returned back to normal. My friends around town asked me about the queen, what it was like to speak to her and for her to actually call me out of the crowd and specifically want to talk to me. However, that even faded and my life was back to normal. Except for the fact I thought about her more than usual at night and my thoughts turned into dreams that scared me. Of course I've had dreams that made me feel inappropriate before, but this was different. I could see myself touching this woman who I should have the utmost respect for in the most disrespectful places—even though I really didn't know what they looked like.

“Hello, Harry.” I heard, that chipper voice ringing through the market as the door opened. Henry, the mail boy, was one of my acquaintances While we didn't hang out like I did all my friends, I could hold a pretty decent conversation with him. He worked for the queen indirectly. He was the mail boy for directly around the castle. Whenever she needed things sent out around there, he would do the honor. Which is probably why I don't hang out with him like I do my other friends, he's quite the busy lad.

“Hey, Henry.” I spoke, placing Mrs. Malone's things in her bag for her. “Got anything for us today?” He nodded, his white hair flopping against his forehead. He was older than me, but he was very boyish in his nature. That's probably how he got more girls fawning over him than I could even count.

“I got somethin' exciting for everyone in town. That's got no criminal record, you know.” he said, bouncing slightly on his toes. I waved goodbye to Mrs. Malone as she said her thanks to me and called me such a sweet boy like she does every single time she comes in here.

“What is it?” I asked, leaning forward as he slid me a letter with a wide grin on his face. I furrowed my eyebrows, reading the outside of it that had tight, fancy letters on it addressing my family. When I opened it, I was even more shocked to see what it said. It read:

Dear Styles' Family,

You have been formally by royal proclamation invited to a ball at the Westden Castle to be held one week from Friday. This is to honor the fourth anniversary of Queen Clara's coronation. We hope you will be eager to attend.

Tidings,  
The Grand Duke, Sir Matthew Cordial

When I looked up to Henry, he was smiling at me wildly. I reread the letter again to make sure I had seen it properly, even down to the exact time, date, and place that were scribbled at the bottom for clarification. While this was exciting, I just didn't understand. The Queen never held balls, it just wasn't something she did. Even her coronation was a very serious event that was only for other royals, and it didn't last long. She didn't invite the town to attend.

“I'm at a loss. Why is she throwing a ball?” I asked, looking at Henry. He shrugged his shoulders, shaking his head.

“No one knows. One of her guards told me she stayed in her library for the past whole week, readin' so much until she came out in a real grand matter and announced she wanted to have a big ball next week and she wanted to invite the entire town and she wanted the invites out very soon. It'll be the talk of the year, I'm sure of it.” he decided. My hands fiddled with the parchment, staring at it as I thought of seeing the queen again. Maybe she would speak to me once more, maybe I would even get a dance. Imagine me getting a dance with the queen. All my friends would idolize me. Except, it wasn't something I should be getting excited about seeing as it didn't make much sense that I would even be able to go. “Oh no, why the sad face? Aren't you excited? Everyone is excited. I'm excited.”

“I can't go, Henry. It's the queen's ball, I can't show up wearing just anything and I don't have the money to get something nice. Even my nicest clothes would be frowned upon. I can't go.”

“Can't go to what?” my mother's voice asked as she descended from the stairs that led up to where we lived. I sighed, knowing she was about to make a big ordeal out of this over nothing. My mother was a woman who very much loved the idea of being royalty and, thereby, loved the royals to death. If she knew she was being invited to a ball by the queen and she would get to be in the castle, she'd freak.

“Queen Clara's throwin' a ball, ma'am. The whole town is invited.” Henry told her. My mother's eyes went wide and I watched as she tried to keep herself calm as she held her hand out to me with her other calmly on the skirt of her dress.

“Let me see that, son.” she spoke calmly. I nodded, handing over the small card. Her eyes cautiously looked over it again and again and again. “Oh my... Oh, heavens. We're going to the castle!” she chimed, spinning around a bit.

“Mum, we can't go.” I pointed out, wishing she would realize we'd be a laughing stock if we tried to make an appearance. “We haven't any nice clothes. They wouldn't let us in.”

“Oh, nonsense. I'm sure if we splurged a bit for this night, we could. It's a special event.” I looked at her skeptically, knowing we truly didn't have the money for that. Even if we did run the market of the town, we didn't have as much money as you'd think. A lot of the times we worked off trading, so money wasn't something we had a plethora of.

“Well,” I sighed, looking towards Henry who was smiling as brightly as he could. “I guess we're going to the ball.”

* * *

The next two weeks went by incredibly fast and I was as anxious as ever. My dreams of Queen Clara had only gotten worse and I was craving some unspeakable actions to happen with her. However, I tried to get those things out of my head since I know how horribly inappropriate they were.

In this moment, we were all tidying ourselves like the rest of the town to get ready for the queen's ball. My mother was running about the house, checking my father and I and herself to make sure we we looked okay. We did, but that didn't stop her from looking over and over. Even though we weren't anything exceptional, it was the nicest thing I'd ever worn and probably the nicest thing my mother has worn since her wedding day and I know that probably made her feel good. That's probably the only thing that didn't bother me.

As much as I knew this was a big deal for the town and even my friends were excited to get a chance at stealing a dance with the beauty that runs our country, I just wasn't excited. There was something about seeing the woman I've had the most horrifically inappropriate thoughts about that really put me off from the situation. Other than that, my mother is dead set that the queen will want to dance with me because of me catching her eye for a few seconds which incredibly unlikely. The queen wants nothing to do with me.

I'm nothing more than a common boy. I will never be anything more than that.

“Alright, I think we're ready to go. Oh, I'm so excited!” my mother chimed, smiling a bright one. My father reciprocated it and they shared a kiss. My mother did look beautiful today, she really went out of her way to try to feel like a queen herself. And, personally, I thought she was.

We left our store and began walking towards the castle, nearly everyone else in the town doing the same thing. The streets were lit with laughter and joy, everyone so excited to see inside. Some of the older people remember seeing in when Queen Eliza was around and she adored throwing balls once a year for the town, but everyone assumed it had to look a bit different than back then. Darker, maybe.

“Haz!” Micah, probably my best friend ever, spoke as he jogged over to me along with Judah and Teodor. We all hung out often and they were pretty great people. “You excited?”

I sighed, looking at the brunette, “More or less, I guess.”

“You need to get excited! We're about to go to the fuckin' castle, man!” he cheered. I laughed, rolling my eyes as Judah threw his arm around me.

“Just imagine, man, that fit thing being all yours. Well, mine. She's gonna fall in love with me tonight.” he said, giving me a confident smile. I held back a laugh, nodding as if I believed that. We were all just normal kids were destined to marry normal girls. We weren't going to get the queen and it was stupid to even fantasize about it.

“You're crazy if you think that, Jude. Out of all of you, she is most likely to approach me.” Teodor spoke, skipping ahead of the three of us and turning around to face us.

“Actually,” I said, smirking a little bit just because I knew I could rub this in their faces forever. “She's most likely to approach me, she already did.”

“I don't know, she called you out of a crowd. Maybe she saw you doing something wrong and she was seeing who you were and where you lived.” Micah joked. I rolled my eyes, knowing very well that wasn't the case. If it was, she wouldn't have invited my family to the ball. Not like I wanted to go anyway.

“Doesn't matter, you guys are all stupid for thinking you have a shot with her. You should be trying to dance with someone like Adelyn or even Velma. They're more likely to actually say yes.” I explained to my friends, knowing that's what I'd probably end up doing. For the past year, before the queen spoke to me, my mother and father had been trying to get me to court with a girl named Reene. She was a farmers daughter and I didn't really have an interest in her, but I knew she would most likely be the one I would be pressured to marry. I might as well ask her to dance.

“Ugh, don't even mention Velma. Did I tell you I caught her staring at me for like thirty minutes while I was in the field yesterday? It's creepy.” Teodor said, shivering as if trying to shake her eyes off him. I didn't laugh at him, knowing it was a little creepy. She used to wait outside of school for him every single day.

“Harry!” my mother called before my friends and I could talk more. I sighed, telling them I had to go and I walked back towards my mother and father. Beside them, was shy little Reene and her parents and younger brother. “Did you say hello to Reene yet?” she asked. I smiled nicely at the short girl.

“Hello, Reene. It's nice to see you again.”

“And you.”

Sooner or later, all while making small talk, we arrived at the castle. We had to wait in line, invitation in hand, as we stood impatiently to enter. I began to feel a little anxious as we neared, truly curious to see how a real castle looked.

As we began to enter through the massive foyer, I was already introduced to age old paintings that lined the gold walls. The only person I recognized in the paintings, however, was King Julien I who I had seen all over the place. Once we exited the foyer, it immediately led into the ballroom that was the most lively and overwhelming thing I had ever experienced.

The band was loud and upbeat, easily instigating all the other people in the room that had been there to be dancing together. There were tables set about for people to sit at. There was a massive table towards the left that was covered with food and drinks and two chef-looking assistant to serve people. I could spot at least five people that appeared to be waiters walking around with trays of champagne, offering it to anyone and everyone. There was a massive stairway that I assume would be where Queen Clara descended into the room whenever everyone got here. I'm sure that would be quite the sight to see.

“Wow.” my father breathed, all of us frozen as we looked around to the extravagant room full of excited people. Once we took it all in, my dad and I both looked to my mother at the same time to see a mixed look of excitement and fear. “You alright, love?”

“Everyone's dress is more beautiful than mine.” she whispered, almost sounding like a child. I instantly looked to my father who sighed, grabbing her hand.

“Stop it, you're beautiful. The most beautiful in the world, more beautiful than the queen. Come on, let's dance and flaunt just how beautiful that dress is.” he coaxed soothingly, honestly just showing me how it was done.

My eyes followed the pair I aspired to mimic with my future wife as my father pulled my mother onto the dance floor, taking her hand in his and gliding her across the floor in a way that influenced a bright smile. The only bad thing about this is now I was alone. I started looking around for my friends, someone I could talk to. Teodor was speaking closely with some girl I had never seen before, Judah was bad dancing with Adelyn, and Micah was talking with his parents in what seemed to be a pretty intense conversation. Then my eyes go to Reene, seeing her shyly sitting at a table beside her mother and father. Her eyes were low but they were still focused on all the dancing people and I figured I might as well ask her if she wanted to join them.

As I was making my way over to her, the band stopped and so did most people dancing as a man loudly announced the queen would be arriving. We all looked towards the staircase and, at the top of it, the door was pulled open by one of her guards and Queen Clara herself appeared on the platform. And she truthfully stole the breath from my lungs.

Unlike usually, her hair was loosely curled and all over her right shoulder in honestly the most breathtaking way. Her chin was still up and raised and she didn't have any trace of a smile, she merely stood there in that dress. God, that dress. It was black for the most part and it clung to her body, but also flowed around her in such an elegant way. Also it was probably the most low cut dress I'd ever seen on a woman and it was instantly reminding me of my dreams and how much more of her skin I longed to see, to touch... Nonetheless, she stood there with so much power that no matter who you were, you knew she was the ruler of this kingdom even though she didn't have her crown.

The room was dead silent as we all watched her slowly descend the marble stairs with her guard walking beside her. With every step she took, her black heels clapped against the floor in an oddly pleasing way. As she got closer, I was able to see her face more and that her make-up was just as I had seen it every night in my dreams. Thick black eye make-up and plump red lips, all of it enough to drive a man mad. And, just as I thought my paralysis of watching her was over, I got the pleasure of making eye contact with her as she hit the bottom of the stairs. I weakly smiled a little, feeling every part of me react strangely at being in her presence again. And when I say strange, I mean strange.

“You may continue.” she announced in her distinctive voice. It wasn't super loud as the guard had been, it was actually quite calm, yet still commanding and controlling. And just like that, the band started up again and people began to dance and try to act collected with her in the room. We were a good few yards away from each other, but I watched her still as her eyes stayed on me for a moment as people moved around us. That is, until her guard captured her attention and they engaged in a conversation. So I allowed myself to start making my way towards Reene again even though I was feeling many different things flowing through me about what just happened.

Nonetheless, I managed to control myself as I approached the small girl. I cleared my throat, her big brown, doe eyes shooting up to look at me.

“Excuse me, can I have a dance?” I asked, holding my hand out to her. Her face lit up and she nodded, taking my hand as I pulled her towards the dance floor. I grabbed her hand in mine and held them up while I placed my other hand on her waist and she placed hers on my chest. It was supposed to go on my shoulder, but, even in the heels she had on, our height difference was amazingly drastic.

“It's very nice of you to dance with me.” she said softly as we stepped to the beat. I chuckled, looking down at her. She really was a shy girl and I have to blame that on the fact that she didn't really have any friends. I didn't mean that in a negative way, it's just she didn't go to school and she had no siblings and she grew up working on the farm with her father. When she was around other girls, they saw her as dirty. I didn't fancy her, but I didn't see her that way. She was a sweet, shy girl and, if I did have to marry her, I believe I could grow to love her and treat her in the way my parents feel for each other.

“Why wouldn't I dance with you? You look beautiful tonight, any man in here would love to dance with you.” That truly wasn't a lie. She did stand out more than most of the girls in here that were around my age, probably because she held a lot of natural beauty. Even in her simple pink dress, she was able to capture so much attention. The only reason more people don't approach her is because she doesn't seem approachable with how closed off, shy, and insecure she is. I believe if we marry, I can change that.

“Thank you, Harry.” she smiled, her tanned face lighting up with a pink shade that could honestly match her dress.

“Of course, no problem.” I said softly, allowing myself to pull her just a little bit closer. We still had a good amount of space between us, but I knew the gesture meant a lot to her and that mattered. I'm sure it mattered.

We continued to dance for what seemed like forever even though it was probably just three songs. We talked, we laughed, we had fun. She was such a simple person and, as she relaxed, she became just impossible not to like. Seriously, I don't know why everyone refuses to talk to her.

“Excuse me.” As that unforgettable voice spoke, Reene's eyes nearly popped out of her head as she looked behind me. I bit down on my lip and looked behind me, just to clarify it was who I thought it was. And it was.

I let go of Reene as I turned around to face her, the beautiful woman just staring at me in a way I had never been stared at before. I couldn't even describe it, it was so strange. Almost like a strange mix between intrigue and the way a starved man would look at a plate of food.

“If you do not mind, I would like a dance.” she spoke, her eyes still burning into my skull even though her question wasn't for me. I gulped, blinking rapidly as I looked over to Reene who was just so star struck.

“Of course, your majesty, absolutely.” she gushed, bowing her head to the woman before scurrying off back to her table. I cleared my throat, staring at Queen Clara with no idea what I was supposed to do. She asked me to dance, that just didn't happen. Was I still supposed to instigate to dancing part? Would she do it? What the hell?

“Uh, I'm honored, your majesty.” I said carefully, my voice cracking slightly. I decided I should take charge and grab her hand. However, she decided to approach it a different way.

Queen Clara took the hand that I had grabbed hers with and also put it on my waist before placing her two hands on my shoulders. I couldn't help but let out a shaky breath as her cold fingers slid up my neck and behind my hair, pulling me so close to her that her body was firmly against my own. Her face leaned closer until her lips were beside my ear, so close that I could feel her breath and it sent so many chills down my spine.

“Do not call me your majesty.” she insisted, her voice almost sounding deeper and my brain was throwing images around of her and I together doing...

“What should I call you?” I whispered back, but not in the same way. Mine was of helplessness as I tried to keep my composure. Hers was of absolute control. And I loved that.

“I am Clara. I am not a queen tonight. Tonight, I am normal with you.” she told me in the same way as before. She pulled away and I forced my eyes to open. She was so stunning and standing so close to me as she began to sway slightly as our dance.

“Alright. Clara, what do you like to do?” I began, trying to start up small talk so I didn't have to think about all the things I wanted to do. I could save those thoughts for later, alone in my room where thoughts of her wouldn't make me seem like a creep.

“I like to read. Do you like to read?” she asked. It sounded so odd, hearing her talk about something like this. Something so common. She was royalty, I never imagined her doing anything a common person would do.

“I don't get much time to read, I pretty much work in my parents store all the time.” I explained. She nodded, clearly blanking on how else to continue this conversation. So I decided to help out. “So how many guards do you have exactly? And how are you dancing with me without one on by your side?” I asked. She looked up at me again, staring as it seemed she was wondering if I was serious. So I nodded.

“I have many guards for many things. Felix guarded my mother.” she explained, her eyes floating around my head as if to spot him. “He is watching.”

“I figured as much.” I chuckled lightly, but when her eyes shot to mine, I stopped. We continued to stare at each other and her fingers continued to stroke the back of my neck. However, the more we stayed silent, the more images flooded into my brain. And it didn't help that I had such a clear view of heaven just by looking down.

“Your friends are watching you.” she mentioned, my head shooting up as I felt I had been caught staring down her dress. I had been, but she didn't seem insulted by it. If anything, she seemed pleased by it. However, I looked around to spot my friends to see if she was right. And she was. Micah, Judah, and Teodor were all staring at me with pure shock on their faces and as soon as I they saw me notice them, they were mouthing at me and asking me how the hell this happened. Which, honestly, I really didn't know myself.

“How did you know they were my friends?” I asked, seeing her smirk a little bit which honestly just made my grip on her tighten a little more.

“I know so much.” she explained. I nodded.

My queen and I danced through two songs in silence after that and it really wasn't helping me stay sane. Especially when, during the second song, they dimmed the lights just a bit to play this very romantic song that was definitely for couples. Since you really couldn't see anyone except for the person in front of you, she took this time to pull me even closer and whisper again.

“Come with me.” Mindlessly, I nodded, allowing her to pull me out off the ballroom and through a door that led into a hallway.

“Your majesty!” we heard as we did so. When I looked back, it was her guard following us, probably the one named Felix.

“Go away, Felix. You are not needed.” she nearly spat, beginning to pick up her pace as she pulled me up a small flight of stairs.

“Where are we going?” I asked, a smile beginning to form on my face as this started to become a bit fun. I got to be all alone with this gorgeous woman and while that wouldn't help all the things in my dreams surfacing, it sure would be a something I could never forget.

“I want to be alone with you. We will have fun.” For the first time ever, a smile rose on her lips as she looked back at me. Just the presence of it made her seem so much more relaxed and so much more attractive and I wanted her so much more.

“I can't wait.” I responded. We walked a bit more, turning corner and corner before we finally got to a large door.

“This is my room.” she explained, pushing open the door and my jaw dropped as I looked around. Her room was pretty much bigger than my house. She had this massive bed in the middle of it, a bath in the right corner, and a large window that looked out to a lit garden. It also had a vanity against one of the walls across from the door with a massive mirror, but, aside from that and a few paintings, it was quite bare. It was intriguing.

“Wow.” I acknowledged.

“Do you think about me, Harry?” she said, tearing my attention away from her room and thrusting it onto her. She was leaning the post on her bed, staring at me like she did before. Except this time, it was less of the confused part and more of the food part.

“Huh?”

“Do you think about me? Do you dream about me?” As much as I wanted to deny it, I couldn't. I wasn't about to lie to my queen, I wouldn't dare. So, instead of answering, I looked down. “Do you dream about being alone with me? About what we could do all alone?” I again remained silent. “Come here, child.” her voice and face returned to the same way it had been when she had called me to her in the street that day. It was beginning to make me feel a little uneasy. I didn't know what was going to happen and as much as I wanted to touch her, to put her on that bed and do unspeakable things to her, I was also scared of her. She had so much power and if I said something wrong, I could be totally fucked.

When I walked up to her, she grabbed my face in her hand and held me to where our noses were touching. I believe enticing would be the only way to describe it.

“Do you know why I brought you up here?” I shook my head at her question, her eyes staying locked on mine without any sense of fear or regret or anything weak, only control and desire. I envied that. “You must be aware I am a woman and I am not married.” I nodded, furrowing my eyebrows as she continued to confuse me. “I have needs, Harry.”

“I don't-” However, my queen decided she didn't want to hear me speak because, instead of letting me finish my sentence, she closed the gap between us and pressed her lips against mine. I instantly pulled away from her despite the fact I was aching to participate. “No, this is wrong. That's wrong. We're not married, I hardly know you. You're my queen, I'm nothing. This is wrong.” I gasped out, staring at her with literally no understanding at all what just happened. I just wanted it to happen again.

“Is it wrong? Is it wrong to touch someone, to feel another's skin? I do not believe it is.” she coaxed, walking near me again as she pressed a kiss to my lips.

This kiss led to another kiss and another and another, each one getting deeper than the last. The more we kissed and the more she touched me, the more I wanted to give into my instincts and just feel good. I couldn't feel her skin yet other than her lips on mine due to her dress being in the way, but I wanted to. I wanted to badly.

Clara pushed off my coat and pulled me onto her bed, me laying on top of her as our kissing continued. My hands stayed put as I tried to refrain from too much touching, but she didn't. She was touching me every place she could and, while my brain was telling me it was wrong, it was heavenly and I couldn't get rid of the smile as I kissed her.

However, once her hand slid between us and started to edge past my pants, I had to sit up. I didn't know what she was planning on doing, but I knew it was wrong.

“We're not supposed to be doing this. You're my queen. Even if you weren't, this is wrong. This is... it's so wrong.” I rambled, getting off of her. My feet hit the floorboards and I picked up my jacket as I heard her rustle around behind me. 

“Harry.” she demanded. I turned around to look at her again and I'm pretty sure I had died sometime earlier. This was already an unbelievable event, much less what I was seeing now. Her hair was a mess, her lipstick was smudged, and her breasts were nearly freed from behind her dress as she stood on her knees and just looked at me with so much hunger. She looked ravenous and it was so... so... arousing. “Come here.”

“N-no. I can't. It's wrong. You're making me want to do horrible things and I can't do that. It's not natural. It's-it's not-”

“Harry, I will do anything to make you stay in this room and continue to be with me. Anything.” her words were nearly a growl and my mouth dried up. Everything I had been taught morally was telling me to get the fuck out of here, but, god, I wanted to touch her.

“But it's wrong.” I whispered, slowly being convinced that it wasn't wrong. But it was.

“Harry,” Clara scoffed. I really didn't understand why she kept saying my name. I liked it, but I didn't know why. “Do you not know what sex is?” she sat on her legs, staring at me like I was a little kid. My eyes widened and my face turned bright red as I avoided her face.

While I didn't know much on the topic, I had heard the word before. When I was a little boy, I had been walking home and I heard some noise coming from an alley way. I always had to walk past a bad street and my mother had told me not to even look its way, but that day I was hearing noises that sounded like a woman might be in pain. I, of course, went to check and see if she was alright or if I needed to get the police. However, when I peeked in, I saw a man and a woman doing some unspeakable acts—much like the ones in my dreams, just those were less disgusting. I remember being so confused, but interested because I had never seen anything like it. But then the man spotted me and he yelled something along the lines of “get the fuck outta here, ya little wanka!” with a heavy accent and I ran off to get home.

That night I had asked my mother what I had seen and she seemed very taken aback and terrified before uncomfortably explaining. She told me what I had seen was an act committed between horrible, sinful women and men who had no faith in god and it was called sex. She told me how horrible it was and doing it can get you sent straight to hell. And, obviously, I believed her because I had never really heard about it again and it seemed about right since it was always done between trashy people.

“It's wrong. That's not a good thing to do.” I tried to explain to Clara as she continued to stare at me with disbelief covering her face. The fact that she even brought it up and that was clearly what she wanted to do was horrific to me. She's the queen, why would she do things that whores did?

“Oh... my god. I cannot believe this.” she scoffed, shaking her head. “I waited to find someone who did not repulse me on some level and I chose the snotty little boy who things it is a sin to touch another person.” her voice was harsh, but quiet as she spoke to herself and she began to get off her bed before she walked towards her vanity and began to touch up her hair and make-up.

I don't know why, but as I watched her, I began to feel a bit eager to just do what she was shaming me for not doing. Even though I knew it was wrong, I didn't like that the queen was annoyed with me because I wouldn't sin with her. It didn't make any sense to me. It was wrong to disobey your queen, but it was also wrong to disobey your mother. What do you do if they say different things?

Instead of overthinking it, I walked up behind her and grabbed the side of her dress, forcing her to turn around. She looked at me with that blank face again, no trace of any emotion as I pulled her up against me by her dress. I was doing what felt right and ignoring my morals. For the most part at least.

“I want so much of you.” I told her, leaning down and pressing my lips to hers again. I instantly felt her relax into me as she slid her hands up my chest and into my hair where she took handfuls of it to hold me closer to her lips as we endlessly snogged.

Clara and I stood there, kissing for awhile. It honestly felt so amazing and while I thought it would cure my thoughts of her, it was almost like it was fueling them. But as she kissed me harder, that didn't seem to matter.

However, our intense time together was burdened by a knock at the door.

“Madame? Um, people have begun to be aware of your absence.” Felix called through the door. Clara sighed, pulling away and stroking my face gently.

“I will be out in a moment, Felix.” she responded in her same tone, but I'm sure he heard her. Everyone hears her always.

“When can I see you again?” I asked, feeling eager to already feel her lips against mine once more. This time, more casually and when I'm expecting it. That way I'll be ready.

“You cannot tell anyone that this happened. Or any other time that it might happened. You cannot say a word.” she said in that threatening voice, staring into my eyes with a burning force. I nodded. “Come tomorrow night. After sundown. Tell Sakhr your name, Esfir will walk you to my room.” she explained, I nodded and repeated the names in my head so I didn't sound like an idiot when forgetting the short, yet foreign titles.

“I will.” Clara reached up and pressed the most chaste kiss of the night to my lips.

“Goodbye, Harry.”

 

 

Part 1/3


	2. Part 2.

The streets were bare as dim lights lit them carefully, my eyes on my feet as I walked silently towards the castle and panicked on the inside. I had no idea what would be happen tonight and I had been thinking about it since I left her lips the night before. I couldn't figure out what would be happening. Would she try to have sex again? Would she respect that I thought it was wrong? I had many questions, but none of them slowed my pace towards Queen Clara.

Whenever I arrived to the castle this time, the gate was closed tightly and only slightly lit in a pathway that led towards a door with a man standing guard. I took a heavy breath as I began to assume that was Sakhr, taking easy steps up to the uptight looking man with a gun at his side.

“Excuse me,” I cleared my throat, not seeing him react to me other than shifting his dark eyes towards me. “Are you Sakhr?” he again didn't respond other than an eye shift, but I was assuming that was a yes. I figured he was under strict order by higher up guards not to react to anyone. “I'm Harry. Harry St-” I was cut off by him bringing two of his fingers up to his lips and spewing this incredibly loud whistle. My eyes went wide and I looked around, sort of waiting to be tackled by other guards.

However, instead of being tackled, a very tiny girl with short, light blonde hair and big green eyes appeared beside him. He momentarily broke character to give her a smile that she returned shyly, batting her eyelashes at him before looking back at me.

“I am Esfir. I will show you to her majesty's room.” her voice was laced with heavy Russian undertones. I nodded which led her to reach out and grab my wrist before pulling me through the door, basically dragging me through the massive court yard even though she was incredibly tiny and I was, well, not.

“Uh, why are we being so secretive?” I asked softly as Esfir peaked into a door before leading me into a massive, empty kitchen through the side of the castle instead of through the foyer like I had done the night before. “Isn't she the queen? Who do we have to hide from?” I was genuinely curious. While I knew it was best to keep anything going on between us a secret from the public, I wasn't understanding why it was a secret in the castle where everyone was very able to hold a secret.

“There are always lords and dukes about this castle who dislike her majesty's decision to not marry. If they discover she is having an affair they will force her to marry.” Esfir looked back at me for a moment. “She does not want to marry you.”

“Okay.” I breathed, my eyes wide as I began to realize this was quite a mess I was getting myself into. And, yet, that still didn't stop me from wanting to see her.

Esfir led me through random corridors and things, passing old paintings and furniture that didn't interest me. In fact, nothing did until we got to that familiar door with a man in front of it. That's when my stomach began to churn and my face started to get hot. Esfir brought me to the man and smiled at him. He was large and dark skinned, brooding with intimidation. He made me feel small.

However, he knocked lightly on the door in a rhythmic pattern before it opened and revealed a gorgeous looking Clara. Her hair was pulled back into a ponytail, curling endlessly down her back and she had a thin little on that was a colorful gray and blue at the top but slowly descended into white as it hit the floorboards.

“Thank you, Esfir.”

“Yes, your majesty.” Esfir smiled and nodded, running off into the endless hallway. I took a deep breath and looked at the flawless being before me, looking down at her. She was shorter now, the top of her head reaching my chin whereas in those heels, we were closer to the same height.

“Hello.” I whispered, giving her a small smile as I let my eyes take all of her in and tried to ignore the large man eyeing me. Even though she still had that blank, emotionless face on, I knew she was happy to see me. She had to be, she really wanted me to come.

“Harry.” she responded, reaching out and her fingers curled around my wrist as she pulled me through the door. As soon as it closed, her fingers clasped my neck and pulled me down to her lips and I forgot all about that man outside the door. “You are so tall.” she whispered, the faintest hint of a smile gracing her lips as they touched mine.

“Yeah.” I responded, honestly forgetting how amazing it felt to have her lips on mine. This wasn't a sin, I don't think. Touching her legs and her chest... that was a sin. A perfect, beautiful sin...

Clara and I slowly made our way to her bed, me sitting on it first as she stood between my legs and held my face in her hands. My head was completely back as she peppered kisses on and around my lips. She did that over and over and I was unable to repress my smile. I couldn't figure out why it felt so good to be blessed with kisses, but I was going to bask in them as much as I could.

My arms wrapped around her and torso and I pulled her towards me, laying back on the bed with her on top of me. Sure, this could so easily lead to bad things, but I was trying to push that out of my mind. I had already snuck out of my house after dark to come see the queen, the least I could do was make the most of it.

“I am surprised you came. You seemed against me last night.” she spoke, her eyelashes brushing against my cheek gently as she relaxed on me. I scoffed slightly, turning on my side with her and I continued to keep her close. It was nice to have someone close.

“I wasn't against you. It was more of a dream come true, honestly. But I just don't believe sex is a good thing. I was conflicted. I'm not supposed to go against my mother or the lord, but I'm not supposed to go against my queen either. Who was I supposed to listen to? Who am I supposed to listen to?” I explained. She stared at me for a bit longer, her fingertips grazing my cheek over and over.

“You should listen to me.”

“You're biased.”

“Yes.”

A small chuckled left my lips as I stared at her in amusement. She was still just so serious, not even seeming phased by anything I said. Nothing I could possibly do would shock her or surprise her, or even make her crack that seriousness of hers. Of course I had earned a few small smiles, but it was when we were kissing and she felt she had control over me. She was just incredibly, incredibly serious. What do I even attempt to do about that?

“Why are you so dead set on us committing that sin?” I asked her, propping myself up on my elbow as she rolled onto her back. She stared up at me, her entire being looking so beautiful as I looked down at her.

“I want to feel something.”

“What do you mean? You're the queen, you can get anything you want. You should feel anything you want.” I pointed out. Clara scoffed at me, sitting up and glaring at me. Suddenly, I was regretting saying anything to her.

“Do you know what I do every single day of my life? I sit on a throne and listen to people complain to me about things they want in their life that I have little to no control over. Today a farmer came to me and told me his only male goat died. All I can do is tell him to speak to another farmer and come to an agreement. And if I am not doing that, I listen to lords bitching at me like I am some little girl and they try to tell me what I can and cannot do to keep my pristine ways. I deal with endless bullshit and I am always alone. I cannot go anywhere without being guarded. I told you to come after sundown because for the next few hours, the only guards on duty are ones I can trust because they let me do something other than sit alone in my damn room or in that damn throne. I cannot even go to other parts of my own kingdom without being surrounded by stupid men who will never leave me be. For the first time in years, I have felt some sort of relief just being in your company. Let me find joy in you.” she ranted at me, a slight edge in her tone as she basically scolded me about how she felt being in the position she was in. I gulped, avoiding her eyes. You never really think about how lonely it must be to live in a castle like this with no one just wanting to be in your company. They're either serving you or talking political with you. I guess in theory that doesn't sound that bad, but I bet it's horrific in practice. Especially when it's not just for a little bit, it's for years.

“I'm sorry for assuming.”

“Yes, you are.”

A small smile found my face as her inability to sound normal shined a bit. I stared up at her, my brain rushing a thousand miles a minute as I began to question just how high my morals were. She really was a thing of beauty and honestly, what could one time hurt? And it wouldn't be with a corner whore, it'd be with the queen. A goddess. With her soft lips and skin and all the curves she has under those dresses she wears and that hair and that face and that voice and that... ugh, everything.

And I want everything.

“Hey,” Her eyes glanced down and became fixated on my own. “I'm beginning to change my mind.”

 

For a few moments she stared at me, her long eyelashes hitting the top of her cheeks as she processed what I said. I was having so many emotions and strange feelings coursing through me in this moment. My stomach was tight and my head was reeling with images of her, and yet I couldn't take my eyes off her. It was weird and I didn't think I'd ever felt like this before. So I was just hoping it was a good thing and I wasn't going to be doing anything that bad.

I sat up once more and placed my hand on her cheek before connecting our lips for another time tonight. Except, this time, it was a bit different. She clearly had something in mind and, even though I had no idea how to do anything remotely of this genre, I knew that she could show me enough to get by.

That's why, when she laid me on my back and started sliding her hands beneath my shirt that had once been firmly tucked into my trousers, I didn't feel scared. I guess because she's the queen, I didn't feel nervous. I figure this is the perfect way to express these things I'm feeling that I've been so convinced were sinful. If the queen, a status regarded as someone who is godly, wants this, then I shouldn't be the one to stop her.

Before I knew it, she tossed my shirt to the floorboards and I was left beneath her with my bare chest. Clara's soft lips left mine and began to kiss on my neck and my chest which easily made my breathing speed up and get heavier. I didn't know what to do in return, so I just kept my hands on her back as I stared up at the the white ceiling beyond the crossed bars that topped her bed. Her hands, however, rubbed up and down my sides and hips and legs. It was such a soothing yet suggestive touch that had my mind wandering, and yet going no where at all. I couldn't think straight, all I could think of was her and her lips and her hands.

“Harry,” Clara's careful voice spoke, that stern tone returning as she grabbed my jaw and made me look at her. “You do not know what you are doing. It will not be any fun when you do not understand, so read on it. Come back another night.” I furrowed my eyebrows at her words. She had gone and convinced me to do this and now that I'm into it, she doesn't want me to.

“Why? How?”

“The fact is, you would do much of the work. If you do not know what work you are supposed to do, it will just be uncomfortable for the both of us. That would be the opposite of fun. So you read up on it. You can read, can you not?” I sat up in my spot, feeling the way I did when I wake up in the morning after a nice dream of her, except it was just so much worse. It was like a I had someone tying knots in my stomach and I was desperate to make it go away. The only way that seemed possible was by doing what I was told we were going to do.

“H-How do I read on it? Are their books? And if there are books, which ones? Why must I?” I asked in a quick pace. She smiled, sitting up and placing her hands on my bare chest. We stared at each other as her thumb moved back and forth, truly doing the opposite of calming my frustration. It was only making it worse.

“I will give you a book. You can come see me again when you have finished it.” she clarified and my eyes immediately widened at the thought of going a whole books worth of time without seeing her. Hopefully it wasn't that big. However, when she got out of bed and went towards her dresser, she pulled out a book almost as thick as my arm with pages bigger than my head. I felt my hands tense up. I was a slow reader, so even if I was able to devote every moment to it (which I can't), it would take me two weeks or more.

“No. No, no, no. I can't go that long without seeing you. Not after the nights we've had. I can't take that.” I insisted, running my hands painfully through my hair. “Can't I see you before then? I must.” I begged.

“I guess that would be okay.” she agreed, almost seeming to have mixed feelings which makes no sense since she was telling me an hour ago about how lonely this castle could be.

“Thank you.” I whispered, stepping off the bed and walking up to her beautiful self. I gently took the book from her hands, holding it in my hands to read the title. In big block letters printed on the front were the words 'The Encyclopedia of Sex'. I huffed a big breath. It was going to be one hell of a project.

“It will help you know what to do, how to do it, and what everything is. You will not be scared of it or just going through random instinctual acts. I promise it will be better.” she told me, clearly seeing how frustrated I was feeling. There was just something about having a naked girl in your foreseeable future who wants to touch you and wants the same in return that could really make a person stress.

“So, do you want me to go now?” I wondered while looking into that cold eyes. This was no longer out of desire or need of human affection, this had become orderly. As soon as she had handed me the book, it became a professional affair. Part of me was waiting for her to pull out a contract. It almost wasn't fun anymore. The passion that I had felt was gone, and she had lost it too. What a shame.

 

“The sun rises in two hours.” she sighed, looking to the clock that hung silently beside the window in her room. Those things were the only decorations on her walls. “You need sleep. You work.” she decided, stepping closer to me again. Her hands took the book away from me and sat it back on her table. My eyes watched her intently, taking in every bit of movement as she turned back to me and placed her arms around my neck. Her clothed front pressed against my bare front, those eyes looking up at me as her long hair trailed endlessly down her back. “When can you come back?”

“When do you want me back?”

Clara looked at me with the smallest hint of curiosity in her eyes. It was like she had an idea of something, but wasn't sure how proper it might be to act on it. Nonetheless, she rested her head on my chest and I fixed my arms around her in a hug to break that professional feel she had thrust upon us a few minutes ago. My nose nuzzled into in the top of her head and I closed my eyes, appreciating this moment we were sharing together. It was nice. Random, but nice.

“Return tomorrow. Same time, same demands. We will talk about your friends and family.” I chuckled quietly, but nodded, stealing one last kiss before pulling away from her to go retrieve my shirt from the floor.

“I will see you then, my queen.”

* * *

“Harry!” Clara grinned, climbing off her bed and making her way into my arms. I smiled at how happy she seemed to see me, holding her tightly to me. My face was buried in her neck as I lifted her off the ground even though I knew her dress was still touching the floor from how long it was.

“Hey, my love. How was your day?” I asked as I put her down, but still had her close to my body. Today made a full week of me coming to see her every night and it was truly an amazing thing. I was no longer scared to come to her and I felt comfortable around her. Besides, we talked so much and I was really beginning to see how much of a real woman she was. Especially when I earned the beautiful sight of her smile.

“A man came from Norway to meet me. He is the hand of King Eskild. They are interested in me marrying the prince.” she told me, her demeanor changing into one of annoyance at the thought of it. I let her take a step away from me as we merely connected by hands, knowing she was annoying by what happened.

“Does he know you don't want to marry?” I asked, letting her pull me towards her bed. My eyes were locked on her dress even though I truly was listening to what she had to say. I really couldn't deal with not looking at it. It was this that hugged her hourglass frame so nicely and it was low cut, really making her pale skin glow. “And you wore that to meet him? He probably couldn't keep his mind straight.”

“Hush.” she giggled, pulling me beside her on her bed. “And I told him very clearly that if I married, it would not be some stuck up prince from Norway or anyplace. He would be a kind man, one I could trust and love and one who did not care for my status or what it would bring him. I would marry someone who would accept loving me in private as much as he would accept loving me in public.” she explained. My eyes locked on hers, silently wondering if she meant me. But I'm fairly certain she didn't. I was nobody and she was the queen. This is an affair that I would remember for the rest of my life as I moved on with a lady who will never be as good as her and she would forget about me and be with some king of some country.

“What did he say in response?” I asked, still watching her. She sighed, flopping back in her bed and her dark hair trailing off towards the floor.

“He said I would change my mind once I met him and he was just coming to formally inform me of the courting I would be enduring. Prince William is coming next month. He is finishing his schooling first.” Clara told me. My eyebrows furrowed as I laid back beside her, letting my hair do the same as hers off the bed—just a lot shorter.

“His schooling? How old is this prince?” I had finished my schooling last year when I was sixteen and I knew royals usually finished schooling much earlier so they could focus on the more political aspect of their lives.

“Fifteen.” My lips folded in as I tried to hold back my laughter at the fact they were trying to marry her to a little boy. I guess I'm not exactly as old as she is, but at least I was of age. It only took a few more minutes before I broke and started laughing at her about this really ridiculous situation.

“Stop it, it is not funny.” she insisted through her smile, turning to face me.

“I know, my love, I know.” I let my arm pull her to lay against my chest, feeling her just relax as soon as our bodies touched.

“What will I do when he gets here? The guards will be doubled. It will be hard to have you here.” she whispered, her icy hand sliding up and resting on the side of my neck. I closed my eyes as chill bumps rose on my skin in response to her touch. God, she is so perfect.

“Can't you just tell him not to come? You're the queen.” I suggested, hearing her sigh in response.

“I could, but I must keep on good terms. We are a small country who has successfully avoided war in all our history. I will not break that over something as ridiculous as not marrying their little prince.” Clara's voice was dripping with that authoritative tone that she used whenever she made speeches and sort of the way she spoke to me whenever this whole started and we met those weeks ago. It was very attractive to hear.

When I didn't say anything in response, just stared at her, she propped herself up on my chest. Her hair was a flowing mess, pooling beside her me in bed as she laid on me with that serious face. Her fingers caressed my neck, her finely cut nails gently scraping against my neck.

“You are so beautiful, Harry. I never knew a man could be so beautiful.” she commented. I gulped as I stared at her, really wishing I had finished that damn book already. I just wanted to be able to touch her with no boundaries. It would be amazing. “How much of the book have you read?”

“About thirty pages.” I admitted in a mumble, seeing her eyes widen at how little progress I had made in a week. But, in my defense, it was massive and the words were small and some words I didn't understand so I had to go look them up. Plus, it was harder to read whenever I had to hide it from my parents. If they saw that, I don't know what they'd do.

“Well, next time, bring it with you. I will read it to you, maybe you will make some progress.” she insisted, smirking ever so slightly as her fingertips scratched slightly harder over my collarbones. However, instead of hurting me, it really just made every muscle in my body tense and I wanted her that much more.

“I-I can do that. Definitely can do.” I nodded, hearing her laugh softly.

“Good.” she spoke softly before bowing her head down and pressing her lips against mine.

* * *

“What do you mean, no? Are you crazy?” Micah scolded me as we kicked an old ball around in the field. We'd done this at least once a week since we were kids. It was our guy time. The only problem was I had spent almost every night with Clara for the last two weeks. Hours add up and I was tired most of the time. Which has led me to right at this moment where my best friend was yelling at me.

“I mean, no, and I'm not crazy. It's just been busy at the store and I'm tired. Going to Reene's coming of age party party isn't exactly top priority.” I explained. Even though I had, at one point, truly considered marrying her, that thought didn't cross my mind anymore. I was different now, being with the queen in such an intimate way and expanding my mind about the wonderful world of sex has put me in a position where I don't think I could settle for Reene anymore, no matter how sweet and beautiful she was. My life was too complex. I don't think I would be marrying the queen either, but I'd rather be with her silently than be with a girl who won't be able to please me publicly.

However ridiculous and cruel that sounds, it's true. We have grown to know one another in ways I had never known another person before. It was amazing and I wouldn't lose that, even if it meant making love in secrecy for the rest of my life.

“Dude, do you realize she's going to invite you. You're gonna make her feel like shit.” Teodor told me. I stared at them for a moment, wondering if they even felt like I did toward Clara. Aroused, the book had called it. I wondered if they had dreams about girls like I did. Sex was built into our heads as a sin, as something we should be ashamed for thinking about, but that never stopped me from dreaming it or craving it. It didn't stop the images of stocking-clad legs straddling me or of breasts partially hidden behind a thin dress while soft lips caressed my own.

It made sense that I wasn't the only one, but I wasn't about to outright ask about it. That would be an easy segway to admit, I had a thing going on with someone. They probably would never guess the queen, but still.

“You think just because the queen danced with you, you're some big hot shot? She probably, doesn't even remember you.” Judah spat, seeming done with how little time I had made to hang with them. That's just how he was. However, the fact my face was contently between her thighs just last night proves how wrong he was.

Actually, most times, I go in with the intention to talk, but I get overwhelmed at the sight of her and the talking has to be saved for later. As disrespectful as it might be, I can't help myself and she doesn't seem to mind.

“She only wants to marry me because that's what our parents want and she's too timid to disagree.” I told them and I was right. She's so innocent that I don't see her wanting to be intimate, even after we spoke and discussed exactly how things would happen. She'd probably only oblige when it came to us having children. And while that might be great for some guys, it isn't for me. I've developed a desire, a deep need to touch the female body. Lust.

“I don't see what's wrong with that. Like at all.” Teodor told me. I bit down on my lip, questioning what I was going to tell them. I knew they wouldn't leave me alone unless I told them something.

“I have met a girl.” I said awkwardly. It wasn't a lie, but it wasn't how I was saying. Clara and I are friends, sort of, who like to be intimate.

“What?” they asked at nice dropping the ball and coming closer to me.

“Who is she?” Micah inquired, the other boys seeming just as intrigued. I found myself mimicking the smirk Clara gives me whenever she's getting ready to do something new. It has become my favorite look.

“I can't tell you that much, not yet. It's a secret because it's... different.” I admitted, their eyebrows pulling together in confusion. I looked around, my tongue skimming over my teeth. “Do... do you guys have... dreams? Like about girls? Like... erotic” I wondered, trying to think of some new words I had learned from that damn book. Their eyes were wide, clearly questioning if they should even admit it. Eventually, they nodded slowly and I ran my hand through my hair. “This girl lets me do that. And she likes it. A lot.” I laughed softly.

“R-Really?”

“Now I really want to know who it is.”

“Dude...”

I honestly felt praised as they stared at me, clearly impressed by my discovery of this nonexistent girl who wants to be sexual. Most girls seem to only want marriage and chaste affection, not even thinking about kisses, much less how it would feel to have someone's hand beneath their skirt.

“I don't think I can ever explain how great it is. We haven't exactly gone all the way yet, but we've done other things. She's so great, man, and she looks so good.” I admitted. I decided to leave the part out about the book even though it had added so much to my mind and who I am becoming as a person. It just seemed weird to say anything out loud about it.

I was almost done with that book, The Encyclopedia of Sex. I read it in all my free time and I read it walking to and from Clara's castle. Sometimes, she would read it to me as we laid in bed, but it would usually lead to other things due to her voice being so seductive. She told me about that word last night. The book really had only made me so okay with what I planned to do even though there were somethings I've learned that almost made me throw up. I knew I was safe to be with her and she wouldn't hurt me like that.

“So you've been blowing us off so you could... be with a girl? I don't know whether I shoud be mad at you or high five you.” Judah spoke, the rest of us laughing. It honestly did feel good to tell someone even if I couldn't tell them anymore than I did. It was like I was finally completely certain I wasn't wrong or weird. I was right. And that made me so much more eager to finish that book.

“You're going to see her the night of Reene's coming of age party?” Teodor asked, causing me to shrug. Clara pretty much told me when the best nights to come were. I didn't want to make life harder than it had been for her already.

“I want Reene to dance with someone else and get to know them, not stay tucked at my side with the mindset that we'll marry.” I decided. They seemed t understand, nodding in their silent agreement.

“Okay, so you don't mind if I move in on her then? She's gorgeous, dude, and I think she'd at least be down for a snog.” I laughed at Jonah's proposition, but nodded. I didn't care who she ended up with as long as he was good to her. She really was a sweet girl and she deserved someone who respected and loved her. My forced love wouldn't stop any form of wandering eyes. “Then you have a good time with that girl man.”

“And you need to tell us when you can about who this mystery girl is.” Micah insisted. I looked at my friends, realizing I wouldn't ever be able to tell them unless this randomly turned into something more than a fling.

“I will.”

* * *

“This is probably my fault.” Clara's voice murmured as she let her hand rub up and down my arm. Coming to her every night and putting a lot of energy into learning about her and being physical with her just to get home and get maybe an hour or two of sleep before having to work in the store was starting to take a toll on me. Whenever I came over tonight instead of going to Reene's party, we were talking about what we were going to do whenever that boy prince got here next week. I was genuinely curious, but I couldn't stay awake and I ended up finding my head bobbing considering we were laying in her comfortable bed.

That's what led to now. We were laying in her tub that was full of hot bath water. I was rested between her legs and using her chest as a place to put my head. Her hands endlessly pulled water over my skin as I laid with my eyes closed, just enjoying this quiet moment full of skin to skin contact with this girl I was growing to see more as a true lover rather than a friend I touch. I'm sure I had always felt this way, I'm just now allowing myself to embrace it.

“It's not. I want to spend time with you. I'm just... always so busy.” My voice came out in a flubbed mess, honestly too tired to try to make her feel better about.

“Maybe you should stay home some nights.” she offered, instantly causing my body to jolt as I tilted my head back to look at her face from an odd angle. She wasn't staring at me, she was staring past me, into the mirror that stood by the bath and back at herself.

“I would rather be exhausted in your arms than well rested and alone.” I whispered. Her eyes closed and I felt her relax slightly.

“Harry...” she sounded like she was about to tell me no, that I really needed to stay home, but I could tell she didn't want me to. She wanted me here just as much as I wanted to be here. “It will hurt you in the long run, Harry. Never sleeping is not good for someone. It could kill you.”

“Let me die young with your arms around me, then.”

“Harry.” Her voice was laced with that stern tone, the one I had begun to relate with my mother's tone whenever I was being bad as a child. Coming from her lips, it usually caused all sorts of feelings in me, however, I felt my eyes drift closed again as I sunk into her nice frame. “Harry.” she repeated, her voice softer this time as she combed her hands through my long, wet hair.

“Hmm?” I hummed, feeling myself drifting off to sleep. However, her hand slid up my chest and laid sprawled just beneath my collar bone. The pressure caused me to look back at her as well as I could with my tired eyes only to see her still staring with her poignant gaze into that mirror.

For the first time ever, she held a vulnerable tone as she whispered the words, “I think I am beginning to fall in love with you, Harry.”

My breath hitched in my throat, and I instantly felt myself wake up at those very powerful words that I truly didn't think I would ever hear coming from her lips directed at myself. It honestly felt like I was being lit on fire in the best way possible.

Her words were heaven blessed.

“Really?” She nodded slowly. I instantly shifted myself in the tub, making it easier to place my hand on her cheek and bring her lips to my own in a perfect kiss that made my stomach tighten.

“I do not want to be in love with you. I do not want to love anyone. It leads to me getting hurt.” she murmured softly against my lips.

“I will never hurt you.” I promised, shifting to where I was beneath her and brought her into my chest. “I love you.”

Clara let out a heavy breath, grasping my face in her hands as she pressed her lips against mine. Things quickly became so much more passionate as she kissed me over and over and we held each other so perfectly. This time we kissed it was different. Even though I had been seeing her for such a short time, I had never felt like this. Yes, it may be lust rather than love, but if it is, I will I enjoy it until I can't anymore. I will cherish these moments I have with the queen.

“Fuck.” she cursed as I kissed on her neck and I found myself smiling as the word passed her lips.

“That wasn't very queen-like.” I murmured, still keeping my lips pressed to her porcelain neck.

“I never want to be a queen while I am with you.” she insisted, grabbing fistfuls of my hair as she held me close. And, truthfully, I prayed she would never let go. “Can we go to the bed?” she whispered in my ear, her breathing a little heavier now as I continued to do what she had taught me to make her feel nice. However, her words made me stop and look at her.

“Are you sure?”

“Yes.”

“But I haven't finished the bo-”

“We can finish later. Seriously, I want to.” Clara insisted, holding my face in her hands as she looked in my eyes. I bit down on my lip, staring at her as I really questioning listening to her about this whenever I know how adamant she has been about finishing the book first. I didn't want to take advantage just because we had shared some intimate words. Plus, I was extreme tired still and while this woke me up, it would make me even more tired afterwards and I couldn't afford to fall asleep here. It would end so badly.

“You have to make sure that I leave after, then, or else we're both royally screwed. Okay, baby?” I mumbled, seeing her gulp as she nodded.

“Okay.”

 

 

 

 

Part 2/3


	3. Part 3.

My chest heaved with a heavy breath as I groaned, pulling the blanket up to my chin. The past week I'd been in bed sick. I couldn't go to Clara because I didn't want to risk getting her sick and it was also hard to really get around without feeling sick. I was feeling better though and I planned to go see Clara tomorrow when I'm feeling up to par. I was missing her so damn badly.

The whole week after we admitted we were in love, we were attached in the most amazing way. If we weren't making love around her room in a way that felt like I was in a romance novel, we were talking about our day or just sleeping in each others arms. We had Esfir wake us up around thirty minutes before sunrise so we can spend the night together. It had truly become my favorite past time and even though I wish we could see each other more in the day. I knew what we had was amazing. I loved her. She was my love. No one else could be with her and hold her the way I could because we were in love.

The last night I was there, it was the first night of the boy prince of Norway being there. When I had gotten to her room, I was greeted with an empty room. I was anxious about it, wondering where she was, until she threw the double doors open and marched in with anger all over her features. It was extremely dramatic and her long, dark dress made it more so and it was very her. I remember asking if she was okay and she told me that she attended a late dinner to be more formal, and the prince responded by continuously trying to move the skirt of her dress up and trying to look underneath it. She said he was the biggest nuisance ever and she wanted me to help her push the thought of him away. I felt bad for not helping out the days after, but we can't have a sick queen who is being pursued by a horny boy prince because her peasant lover couldn't stay away.

“Um, Harry, darling?” my mother spoke tightly as she pushed open my door, her eyes wide as saucers as she did so.

“Yeah?” I grumbled, my voice still hoarse from how many times I'd coughed this week.

“You have a visitor.” she told me, my eyebrows furrowing as I sniffled a bit. My mother stepped aside and that heavenly figure shielded in a large black cloak with a massive hood walked past her. My eyes went wide and I sat up quickly, ignoring the dizziness that infiltrated my mind at the quick action.

“Clara?” I asked, watching her gently pull down her hood. My dizziness was still present and she was fuzzy, but I could tell she was as beautiful as ever. Nonetheless, as much as I was glad to see her and shocked she was here, I was more so interested in how she got out without an escort. That was unheard of.

“Excuse me, child, may I speak with your son alone?” Clara asked my mother who was still staring at her like she was a foreign object. And, as my vision finally cleared, I was greeted with Clara's eyes being locked on me with a stern face that made me a bit anxious to be alone with her.

“Of-of course! Yes! Just ask if you need anything, your majesty.” my mother quickly left the room, shutting the door behind her. “As soon as the door closed, Clara dropped her cloak on my floor with a sturdy thud to reveal her nice little dress that she'd worn clearly to appear like a commoner. It was too plain and light for her, yet still more daring than any woman I've met would try to be seen in.

“Are you alright? I have been so worried about you.” she expressed, sitting at the end of my bed and placing her hand on my leg. It was surreal, seeing her sitting on my bed. I never thought I would see the queen in my bedroom.

“I've been sick, I'm sorry I didn't tell you, but I didn't want to get you sick. I was going to come over tomorrow, though, I feel a lot better. Not back to normal, but better. I was just catching up on my sleep more today so I won't be super tired and sick when I saw you.” I rambled slightly. She smiled, scooting closer to me on my small bed.

“That is alright, Harry. I just came because I was worried about you. I was scared something bad happened.” she said and I shook my head. I would be fine. “I have not been sleeping. I must admit, I have become accustomed to sleeping beside you that I cannot seem to get any rest on my own anymore.” The sentence sounded like words from the mouth of someone shy, but she wasn't. And that's why it came out sounding more demanding. Which I didn't mind.

“You can stay here tonight. My bed is small, but I missed laying with you too.” I offered. 

She nodded and I lifted my blankets up, watching as she crawled in beside me. We had to adjust and scoot close, my arms weaving around her to make sure she didn't fall of the bed from how badly we fit in this bed designed for one. And yet I still felt so relieved and comfortable with her in my arms and I never wanted her to leave. She also seemed to be so comfortable there too, her eyes falling closed and mine doing the same soon after.

I don't know how long we laid there in silence, holding each other. I drifted off a few times, I know that, and at some point my mother came in and shut the light off for us. Well, it wasn't that quickly. She gasped and rambled to herself for a moment about how she knew it before shutting my light off. I assumed Clara was asleep at that point because she didn't respond. And, maybe she was, and just woke up after a little while again because she stirred and touched my collarbone with those nails before speaking.

“Harry, I have something to tell you.” she murmured carefully against my skin. “It's important.” My eyes fluttered open and I looked down at her skeptically. Her voice was different than I had ever heard it before and I had heard it in many different ways. Being with someone nearly every night for nearly two months can make you learn quite a lot about them, yet the way she sounded right in that moment made my stomach tie in so many knots that I felt ill and I wanted to hold her and protect her. She sounded scared.

And, truthfully, I thought it had something to do with the prince.

“What? What's going on? Is something wrong?” I asked, starting to prop myself up so we could talk about what this important thing was. What if she was being forced to get married to this prince? What if he was doing things to her and she couldn't be mean because of who he was? What if she was sick? “Clara, what's going on?”

“Shh...” she hushed me, her big eyes slightly opening as she looked at me. She slowly slid her hand further up my neck and clasped her fingers around me as she pulled me back down to my pillow. “Later. For now,” Clara paused as she let her lips gently caress the skin off my upper chest. “We sleep.”

“Yes, we sleep.” I sighed, suddenly not feeling too tired as she snuggled up to me before drifting off to sleep all over again.

* * *

“That stupid, arrogant twat!” Clara basically roared as she stomped into her bedroom. I jolted up from my place laying on her bed, watching her literally throw her heels across the room before they clambered against her bath tub. She basically torn her dress off as well, revealing a black corset and thin black bloomers that, truthfully, barely covered anything with that bum sent from heaven she had. However, I knew she was angry, so I stayed silent.

You see, it had been almost three weeks since that night she had stayed over and I still haven't heard what that important thing she wanted to tell me was. I decided to stay silent because she continuously would come into her room slightly more angry than the night before. I came at a safe time which was usually before she was finished with her dinners with the boy prince and so I would wait for her, only to see her in the worst mood because he does horrible things.

At first, he was childish and trying to be playfully disgusting with her. Then it escalated to him actually trying to seduce her and she would turn him down, saying she was saving herself for marriage where he would not-so-nicely insist that it didn't matter because they would wed as soon as he turned sixteen. Eventually, though, he got tired of her rejecting his advances and just started terrorizing her. For example, yesterday, he put worms in her wine and she literally rushed in and fell beside her tub, vomiting violently which was not fun for me to witness. I wanted to give this kid a piece of my mind, but I can't.

I am no one and he is the prince of Norway.

“He told me, he told me, that he would stop at nothing to marry me. He said he would force me if he had to because I was the most beautiful woman he had ever seen. But then, then he kissed me. He kissed me, Harry! And I told him no and I very nicely declined because I do not want to anger him, and he spit on me. He spit in my face!” she shouted, her hands violently scraping through her hair as she paced the room. I sat up a little more, concern filling my body as I heard her voice crack and I realized that she was about to cry. “I want it to stop. I want to be with you, Harry, I do not want him. I love you.”

Then she broke.

I quickly got off her bed and went to her as she broke into sobs. I scooped her in my arms, feeling her latch onto me and her body shaking as her tears soaked my shirt. All I could do was hold her to me tightly because I had never seen her cry before. She wasn't an emotional person. She was very formal and by the book. Lately, it has been different because of all the stress she was under, but I had never seen her cry. And it was honestly scary that this little boy could torture her to this extent.

“Hey, hey, I'm here now. I've got you. It's okay. It's not for that much longer.” I promised, picking her up like I've done time and time before for a different reason and brought her over to her bed. It was easier to cradle her whenever our height difference wasn't a problem and it wasn't when we were laying in bed.

“I want him to leave.” she choked softly, gripping my shirt in her fists. “How do I make him leave?” I sighed softly, closing my eyes and brainstorming as to what could possibly drive away this stupid little boy prince. I just wanted to see her smile again and I haven't seen that lately. In far too long, actually, and it's not fun. I wanted her to be happy with me like we used to be.

“Talk to Felix. He handles foreign affairs, doesn't he? He's your hand, but he also hands foreign affairs. Tell him about the prince and what he's been doing and maybe you can speak with the king and explain that his son is a nice kid, but you would like to focus more on your kingdom or that you don't like the idea of marrying someone you fall in love with naturally. I'm sure he would understand that, wouldn't he?” I cooed, stroking her hair. Her sobbing had reduced to sniffles and the occasional gasp, and it didn't stop her from shaking her head and responding to me.  
“Anything I say, the king will take it as an insult. The only thing I can do is let it ride out and hope he loses interest in me. And he probably will once-” Clara cut herself off as a knocking began at her door. Both our eyes went wide, knowing that in the three months we'd been together, no one had knocked at her damn door while I was here.

“I need to have a word with you, my dear Clara.” an almost childish voice spoke through the door as he knocked again, harder.

“One minute! I am not decent!” she called to him, flying off her bed and to her mirror where she began to wipe her face and put on a black satin robe. She touched up her make-up very quickly before rushing back over to me with panic etched on her beautiful features. I was just staring at her, frozen in fear.

If I get caught in here, there's no telling what could happen.

“W-what do I do? Do I climb out the window? Do I hide in your armoire? What do I do?” I whispered shouted. She grabbed my cheeks in her hands, making me look at her as she tried to appear calm even though her chest was heaving with how panicked she was.

“Harry, just hide under the bed and stay silent. As silent as you can. We will be fine, you will be fine. I will get rid of him.” she promised, giving me a soft kiss. Before she stepped away, I grabbed her wrists.

“If he upsets you again, I don't know if I'll be able to stay hidden.” I admitted, knowing if I heard a single horrible thing come from his mouth, I might be tempted to hurt him. If there's one thing I know, I have more knowledge on that topic than he will ever.

“Harry, please... Stay hidden. I do not want people finding out just yet. I want to have them know on my terms, not under something I cannot control. Stay hidden. I love you.” she spoke, worry sketched in her eyes. I nodded, not knowing if I would be able to keep my promise to her. But I would damn try. 

“Clara!” the prince's shrill voice demanded and she let out a tight sigh, closing her eyes.

“Under the bed.”

I silently did as she said, sliding under her large bed on the cold floorboards. I heard her take a deep breath before I watched her floor length robe move towards the door. When she opened it, he came bustling in with heavy, confident footing.

“You are... short.” his accent wasn't as thick as I was expected, in fact, he almost just sounded like an overly posh British person. But,still, he was overly posh and I was already annoyed that he greeted her that way. “And your dress is on the floor.”

“I apologize, Prince William, for getting disrobing before bed. I did not expect visitors.” she told him and, I have to admit, it felt good hearing that I wasn't a visitor. Even if she was just saying that to him.

“Well, that is your fault.” he decided, pacing towards the bed a bit more before spinning on his toes to face her. “My hand has decided I should apologize for spitting on you previously. So—even though you deserved to spit on—I apologize, Clara.” His voice was harsh and not in the least bit legitimately sorry. Which he should be.

“Queen Clara, please.”

“Oh, whatever.” he decided, turning and hoping onto her bed. It took all of me not to strange him for not only disrespecting her, but for so casually inviting himself onto her bed that has become such a comforting place to me. I didn't want to imagine him in laying where I would lay whenever I was with her. In fact, I was disgusted by it. “So, this is your room. It is very plain. You are very exotic for a room like this.”

“I would never say I was exotic.” Clara replied, not moving from her place beside the door that she still held open. From the placing of it, I could see about up to her knees and I could see that other guard that stood outside her door at knight seeming to fidget in his place. He knew I was here and he was probably just as nervous as Clara and I.

“I would use anther word, but I was told not to say that to a queen.” he said carelessly and I could hear the stupid smirk on his face as he said it too. I knew what he was suggesting and I wanted to kill him for it. But, I figure I'd get some jail time for killing a prince, so I stayed silent again.

“I, um, okay.” she laughed uncomfortably, clearly wanting him to leave as much as I did. “Why did you come in here? Do you have something to say other than your... apology?” Clara asked, sniffling slightly.

“I came to tell you that I would not say no to consummating our marriage before we get married.” Prince William told her with a determined voice, swinging his feet like a little boy. My eyes went wide as a wave of disgust overcame me and the guard at the door started choking at the words. And then Clara seemed to feel weak because her legs seemed to start shaking and she gripped the door.

“I-I-I do not understand what that means?” she lied, her harsh facade cracking at the words that probably scared her. But I knew that if he even dared to touch her and I knew about it, then I would kill him. No one could stop me from that, I wouldn't even care that I would probably get killed in return for that.

“It means you, me, in bed together, with me in between your legs while you call out my name. I know all about it, my maid told me all about it.” he explained, still swinging his legs. I held my breath, watching my woman closely to see if anything indicating that I needed to hurt him.

“Oh, oh god.” she said, her hand going to her stomach as her breathing sped up. “I think I am going to be sick.” 

“That's disgusting!” he scoffed, his voice becoming shrill as he got off the bed and she rushed towards her tub again for the second night in a row. I began to get out from beneath her bed, but I knew she didn't want me to even if it meant having to be in this horrible situation with me right there and unable to help.

“My queen.” her guard spoke, following shortly behind her and I watched as he knelt and held back her hair as she vomited into the tub.

“God, you should be grateful for me offering! You should not be sick by it! You stupid whore!” the boy prince snapped, literally stomping out of her room and slamming the door behind her. My blood was boiling and I hand to start taking heavy breaths to calm myself.

Clara's guard got up and rushed towards her door, locking it before telling me that I could get out from my hiding. I did as said and instantly went to Clara's side, truly worried as she threw up everything she had eaten today. And, after that, she started choking and gagging before regurgitating clear, spit like liquid with red tints in it. I rubbed her back as I bit down hard on my lip, honestly worried that she was this ill. And my worry worsened whenever she finally finished and spit out a mouthful of red before laying limply against me.

“Clara?” I asked softly as her guard stared at us with his own concern on his face. “Hey, Clara?” I repeated, pushing her dark hair away from her damp forehead and using my sleeve to wipe her red stained lips. However, she only reacted with a faint groan and her eyes fluttering open and closed. “Clara.” I repeated more desperately, but she still wasn't responding, so I looked up at her guard.

“I'll go get the doctor.” he insisted. I nodded, but then remembered that I can't be in here when a doctor walks in. I guess a doctor is the most reliable person when it comes to our secret, but I didn't see her being comfortable with another person knowing when she comes to.

“Wait! What am I supposed to do? I can't hide under the bed again.” I asked. He sucked in a breath, looking at me seriously.

“Maybe you should go home for the night. We'll be watching her all night and you can come back tomorrow night. If this catches attention, someone could catch you and I know she'd be livid. It's probably best for you to go home. I will get a letter to you by noon tomorrow and let you know what happened and if it's clear for you to come back tomorrow night.” he explained. I gulped, really not wanting to leave her, but I knew he was right and that I really shouldn't be here when she gets examined by the doctor.

“Alright.” I agreed, looking down at her as he left the room. I kissed her pale face and stood up with her in my arms, carrying to her bed. “I love you, Clara, and I hope you're okay.”

“Harry.” she murmured softly, her head slightly gaining some control as she looked at me. “Please come back.”

“I will, my love, they'd have to kill me to keep me from you.” I spoke softly, kissing her head again. “Just please be okay.”

* * *

Something in me was going insane as I fidgeted in the store the next week. Every time the door opened, my eyes would go to it in anticipation for a letter to tell me what was going on with Clara. The first day, I had gotten one that said I probably shouldn't come again because she was on constant watch with her doctor, but not to ask what was going on because they were keeping it very hushed. The second day, I got another one telling me that I couldn't come because she was just getting around to talking and eating again, but she didn't want to risk getting me sick. And so on, a letter telling me why I couldn't come over. Today, though, I haven't received a letter. It was almost two in the afternoon and I hadn't gotten a letter telling me if I was or was not in the clear to go see my beloved again and it was driving me crazy.

I just wanted to make sure she was alright.

“So, have you seen the queen recently?” my mother smiled as she walked in from the back. I sighed, rolling my eyes. Ever since Clara stayed the night, my mother was constantly pestering me about her. I did have to tell her a little bit, that I had been going to see her some nights a week. I didn't say exactly what we were doing, but she knew that we were basically a couple.

“No. She's been ill and I'm waiting for a letter to tell me when I can see her again.” I admitted, thankful for the lack of people in the store at the moment.

“Well, I'm sure it could happen soon. I heard from Mrs. Underwood that the queen planned to take a walk around town today with the prince from Norway She hasn't walked since he's been here, you know.” my mother told me, catching my interest. I looked at her in confusion, wondering why they would be walking today and why she wouldn't have told me that as soon as she found out. And why Clara wouldn't tell me about it either. She had to have known. She always knows when she's walking around town at least a week before because they prepare for it like it's some type of parade. She didn't tell me.

“When? When is she walking?” I demanded, taking off my apron.

“Around two?” she suggested, looking at me like I was a little crazy. And I guess I was. I didn't like not knowing what was going on and I didn't like leaving her in a castle with that stupid boy prince would be here for another two weeks before finally going the hell home.

“It is around two, Mother!” I responded, jumping over the counter and running out the front door. And, clearly, I was right on time—which makes sense on why no one was in the store—because my beautiful, beautiful queen was walking through town and she was approaching my house with the stupid boy prince by her side.

Something in me kept me from kneeling like everyone around me as I watched her with pain in my chest. I didn't understand why I couldn't come over. If she's well enough to walk around, she's well enough to have me over. I don't understand. I just want to be with her. Does she no longer want to be with me? That's unfair. And it hurt to think about.

As she came near, I got to see that she physically looked different than the last time I saw her. She was paler, something I didn't think was possible, and she was wearing a light colored dress that covered more than she usually liked to cover and eliminated all of her curves. It was strange. When she saw me, her eyes instantly lit up and she seemed happy to see me even though she didn't smile. Maybe she does still want to be with me...

However, my eyes shifted to the boy prince who irked me on many different levels and I hadn't even met him. He was about the same height as her since she wasn't wearing heels, but his ego surprisingly managed to sky rocket beyond hers. He wore and overly confident smile as she gazed at every young girl he passed. He wasn't bad looking, I guess, he had sandy, dark blond hair and a boyish smile that was paired on a pretty manly looking face for a fifteen year old. He was pale as well, but not as pale as her, and he wore nice clothing and a sheath without a sword and a small crown placed upon his head. And, god, did it irk me that he didn't look like an ugly little kid.

“Wait,” Clara spoke as she got in front of my hose. Her guards and his guards stopped as she looked at me, that feeling of déjà vu overcoming me. “I have business. You can continue walking. I am safe with Felix.” she said simply, the guards nodding even though they were clearly confused before Clara and Felix began to walk towards my mother and I.

“Can we have a word with you and your son?” Felix asked my mother and I furrowed my eyebrows as I stared at her.

“Y-Yes, of course. Come in, we can have tea.” she offered, ushering the two inside. We all walked up stairs into our house in silence. Once we got there, it was silent for a moment as we all just stood awkwardly.

“I, uh, I don't actually need to speak with you.” Felix admitted, smiling at my mother. “I said that to not lead anyone to think Clara had something going on with your son. But she wants to speak with him alone, she's been wanting to for a few days.”

“Thank you, Felix.” Clara said before holding out her hand to me. “Come.”

I grabbed her hand and let her lead to me my room in silence. I had so many questions for her that I needed to know about and I couldn't get my head straight. I wanted to talk to her and know all about everything that's been going on.

“God, I missed you, I missed you. I love you, Harry, I missed you.” she gushed as soon as we were alone, wrapping her arms around me and pressing her lips to mine. As soon as she did that, my mind drained and I was only focused on her. Her soft lips and her long hair and her sweet smelling skin. “I love you.”

Clara pulled me towards my bed and instantly started to get things going. Except, it was different. She was so hyper and it was such a turn off. I liked how serious she was and how sensual it made everything. I liked her turning something that could be so ridiculous into something poet and intimate. But her acting this way... I didn't like it.

“Wait, Clara, what's been going on? What happened this past week? I've been worried sick and you need to tell me. You need to tell me everything.” I said, lightly pushing her off of me and making her sit up. She was still looking at me with a vibrant, off-putting smile and dull eyes.

“I shall tell you after. Right now, I just want to hold you, and kiss you, and love you, Harry.” she gushed, pushing her lips on mine again and it honestly made me flinch. I hated the way she was acting, it wasn't here and I disliked it.

“No, Clara, no! Why are you acting like this? Why are you dressing like this? It's not like you and, truthfully, it's scaring me. What the hell has been going on this week and tell me now, or you can leave.” I insisted, seeing her face and complete aura change back to how she usually was. Her lips fell into a line and her shoulders relaxed as she stared at me with those intense eyes. She stopped straddling me and sat beside me and she continued to look at me.

“I am going to have a child, Harry.” she said calmly, her voice back to that monotone sound, but I couldn't even focus on that. My eyes went wide and my hand slammed down on my bed, gripping tightly as I tried to process the words she had just said to me. A child? 

“M-My child?” I asked, breathing as if someone was sitting on my chest. She was clearly trying to seem stern like she usually is, but she was avoiding my eyes and she almost looked ashamed as her cheeks turned a shade of red. “W-what are we... How did... What?” 

“I have known for a few weeks now. I did plan to tell you sooner, I did. Everything with the prince was making it difficult. The doctor knew because he keeps an eye on me and he gave me medicine to help me with my nausea. However, it clearly did not react well to the wine I had that night and that is why I vomited so harshly.” she explained partially, but it didn't help me calm down any.

“Wine? You're drinking wine while pregnant with my child? Have you gone mad?” I scolded, somehow forgetting was snapping at the queen. The queen who was carrying my child.

Clara looked at me with an angry face, roughly hitting my chest to where my back hit the wall.

“Stop it! I did it so people would not notice! I still have not decided what I am going to do, so stop it!” she shouted at me, her deep voice forcing me into submission. I closed my eyes and gulped, again trying to process this new and foreign information. I am an unmarried commoner who isn't even eighteen, yet the queen is sitting on my bed and telling me she was pregnant because of me.

I guess I should've thought more about what we were doing.

“I have decided I have four options. We could hurriedly rush into a marriage we are not ready for and pretend that the child came early, I could have sex with the boy prince and lie and say it is his-”

“No, not that.” I cut her off, feeling sicker than ever hearing her considering touching him like she touches me. Regardless of what's going to happen, I love her and I will fight anyone who tries to take my place.

Clara grabbed my hand in hers, silently assuring me that was an option she wouldn't entertain, it was just one that had to be on the table if the others were improbable. I latched onto her hand tightly and nodded, urging her to tell me the other two options because I truly didn't like either of those. I would love to marry her—someday, not now.

“I could go about life normally and let people judge me while I go through the pregnancy and we raise our child together, ignoring any scrutiny because this is my life and having a child will not hinder my ability to be a fit queen.” she suggested, her words telling me that's what she wanted to do the most. And, I have to agree, I liked the sound of it. It would be scary, but I would be content. “Or... I could... get rid of it and pretend this did not happen.”

“No.” I insisted again, shaking my head as I looked at her. I grabbed both of her hands and scooted closer to her. “We don't have to get married, we don't have to do anything, but raise it. We can do that. I have my mother, you have an entire staff of people, we can do this just fine. I swear we can. I'm... I'm a little freaked out still, but I'll get used to the idea. We'll be okay.” I decided.

“I knew from the moment I saw you that you were special. That is why I spoke to you in the street and that is why I threw that stupid ball. I just wanted to see you again. I told myself if you came, then it was a sign that we were meant to be together.” she admitted to me, a faint smile on her lips as her true uncertainty showed vividly on her pretty features. “And you came and I fell in love with you. I love you, Harry, and... you make me really happy. I am happier in this moment than I have been in years.”

“I love you too. And I agree. You make me happy too.” I smiled, lightly grabbing her chin and pulling her lips onto mine for a chaste kiss before pulling her into my arms. She burrowed into my chest, her pale dress scrunching up as she curled up into my lap. “So Felix knows?” I asked.

“Yes. He, my night guard, my doctor, and Esfir all know. None of them would leave me alone this entire week with how concerned they were about me and that is why you could not come over. Yesterday, I had to tell Felix what has been going on because he was refusing to leave my bedside and I needed to see you. I cannot go another night without you, I will go mad.” Clara said in a hushed voice.

“So, again, why are you dressed like this? It's very... not you.” I asked, grabbing a handful of the thin, light blue fabric that crossed her legs. She sucked in a deep breath, an angry breath leaving her lips.

“The prince likes modesty and lighter colors on women and Felix said to be civil with him so he would not throw wine on me like last night.” she grumbled. I rolled my eyes at the childish boy prince she was being courted by, running my hands through her long, straight hair.

“What is it with that kid and wine?” I asked rhetorically, feeling her cuddle further into me which just made me that much happier. I don't think anything could make me happier than having her in my arms.

Maybe having her and our child in my arms.

* * *

“Not this again.” I groaned, my eyes lifting towards Clara's as I had my head in her lap. She was running her hands endlessly through my hair and letting me get some rest after our quick snogging session, but we were being interrupted as knocking rang through her bedroom. The prince was supposed to leave tomorrow and I couldn't wait. It would make my time with my girl that much more enjoyable.

Especially because we plan to have a picnic next week. Outside. During the day. Where people can see.

I got on my knees, about to lay on the floor to get beneath her bed as she pulled on her robe over her silky black slip, looking as beautiful as ever. Her hair was cascading down back as she did so and it was honestly something from a book. She seemed to be moving in slow motion as she tied the robe around her waist and began walking towards the door with her hips swaying so elegantly. I just wanted to tell the stupid boy prince to fuck off and then push her back into bed and kiss her from head to toe.

Before Clara opened the door, she looked back at me and glared slightly as she nodded for me to get under the bed. I did just that but not before taking her body in one more time. Even though I would only be underneath her bed for a few minutes, it would feel like a lifetime knowing I could have her in my grasp if the boy prince would leave.

Even if he was the biggest turn off known to man.

“You seem to be gaining weight.” was how Prince William decided to greet the love of my life, the Queen of Westden, as she opened the door to him. She cleared her throat as quietly as she could, clearly not knowing how to respond as he let himself into her room like he owned it. He paced towards her bed, his hand touching it. “You were already in bed. You sleep to early, that is why you are gaining weight.” he decided. If only he knew what she usually does in that bed...

“You should be getting to sleep, should you not? You leave tomorrow and it is a long trip home.” she told him, not leaving the door. I watched her left foot cross of her right one, encasing herself away from him. And, understandably so. If someone as dense as he is notices her weight gain, others would too. Even if it wasn't even much at all at this point. She only just started showing. And, still, it isn't that prominent. You actually have to look for it. So maybe he was being rude.

“I suppose. But I have something important to ask.” the boy prince stated, pulling more of the bed sheet off a little bit and letting it fall which shielded my view of their feet. That more than slightly bothered me.

I heard his footsteps near her again and her feet sort of stumble, probably trying to back away from him. My mind was trying to figure out what he was going to ask her and the only thing that was coming to my mind was a question that could actually induce vomit from me.

“What?” she demanded, her voice poignant and weary. I hate to admit that I believe I have weakened her. I gave her some sense of happiness, I'd like to think, but it's made her have a different reaction to this boy prince. I feel if it weren't for me, she would have been more harsh. Or maybe I'm wrong and she would've given into him if I wasn't here to show her what love was like.

“Well, since I am leaving tomorrow, I suppose I should follow through with my father's original intention for sending me here.” he decided and I heard him kneel. My teeth clamped hard on my tongue, forcing me not to reveal myself. He irks me so damn much that I don't know why Clara thinks putting me under a bed will be effective. It's so risky and tonight might be the night I become some type of prince murderer. “Will you, Queen Clara Emilianna Bronte of Westden, marry me? You will get to be with me and I will move here and rule this country.” he spoke and while part of me was angry he was proposing to her, another part of me wanted to laugh at how conceited his approach was.

“Uh, William-”

“Prince William.”

“Prince William, I... I do not believe I can marry you. You see, I am in love with someone else. I cannot marry you whilst in love with another.” she tried and I bit my lip, hearing the room fall dead silent as I waited to hear a reaction.

I heard the boy prince William slowly stand.

“You... chose someone over me? Who could make you fall in love if not me?” he demanded. My eyes shut as I kept my breathing hushed. He was pissing me off with how much he thought of himself.

“He is a very nice man and I am sorry if I led you to believe something that would never happen. You are going to find a nice girl one day, I know it, one who is your age or younger and is Norwegian. Then you would not have to leave your father or your home.” she tried to explain in her demanding voice that would probably entrance him into believing her if he was anyone else in the world.

“No, you are supposed to marry me! Give me your damn hand!” he snapped and I found myself feeling slightly lightheaded at the force it took me not to react to how he was speaking to her. I go out of my way not to curse at her and, if I do, it's by accident. You don't curse in front of a lady.

“No. I will not marry you.” she insisted. However, I heard some slightly harsh skin to skin contact and some shuffling before Clara took a sharp breath and her something hit the floor. I held my breath, my entire body tensing up. I didn't know what was going on and I didn't like it, not one bit.

“We will get married, and, if I must, I will make you marry me. We will marry! I spent far too long in this shitty town to not leave with my betrothed! So you will be my stupid wife!” he spat and I heard her breath quicken as she started to panic. She was scared. If she was scared, then I was fucking terrified. Clara didn't get scared. She was too strong to be scared.

“Let go of me.” Clara's voice was almost a growl as she enunciated her words, clearly in a threatening manner. However, when she said that, it was the last straw.

No one touches her.

I quickly got out from beneath her bed, standing to see my love on her knees in front of him. He had a death grip on her hand as she glared up at him with so much anger. He seemed just as angry though and didn't show signs of listening to her.

“She said let go.” I said, my voice coming out lower than I had ever heard it before. I could feel my chest vibrating at the force of it. My eyes were narrowed at this stupid boy and my fists were clenched so tightly I'm sure I could break my own fingers. Every muscle in my body was flexed and I was very clearly showing him how I could fuck him up if he tried anything.

They both looked at me at the same time, his face showed surprise and hers showed greater fear. I knew she didn't want me showing myself and she didn't want me fighting him, but I didn't like that he had his hands on her and I'll be damned if I let him touch her like that while I'm in the room. I'm not going to just listen to that, absolutely not. That's not who I am.

“Oh, this is him, I assume. The boy you want, yes?” Prince William said, laughing as he managed to release her hand. Clara instantly rose to her feet, massaging her hurt hand as she stared at me with worry in her dark blue eyes. “He is very tan and big—a farm boy, probably. You want a commoner? Oh, how pathetic. Did you read about it in some romance novella and want to recreate it in real life?” he asked, looking towards Clara.

“No, just-just leave. Please, just leave.” I don't believe I had ever heard her beg or stutter before, not like that. And it made me slightly nervous, but I didn't relax. I merely glanced her way before returning my gaze towards the boy prince. I didn't want to miss anything he might say or do to her.

“She said leave.” I insisted gruffly, watching as he merely smirked at me.

“Whatever. You are not even worth my time. I do not wish to associate myself with whores, anyway, even if you are a queen.” he decided, swiftly turning and bumping her shoulder so hard it made her stumble as he headed towards her bedroom door. That made me angry and I took a few steps towards the door, but I was stopped when Clara stepped in front of me and gently placed her shaking hand on my bare chest.

“Harry. Harry, why did you do that? Are you mad? I told you to stay hidden. Do you know what he is going to do? He is going to tell everyone that you were in my room and he is going to make it seem horrible. I try not to care what people think, Harry, but I am still the ruler of the country. I still have a reputation to obtain. He cannot make it seem like I am-”

“He hurt you, Clara. If you think I'm going to allow him to do that while I'm in the same room, you're the one who's crazy.” I explained, seeing her eyes lower. She knew I was right and I'm sure she would be more upset with me if he had hurt her further and I hadn't stepped in to stop it. I wasn't about to let someone like him hurt her and I knew she wouldn't fight back because she didn't want him to have anything that he could use against her like that with his father or anything. “Let me see your hand.” I spoke softly, grabbing her arm that wasn't touching me and gently held her hot hand in mine. It was really red and I could see his finger imprints on her skin. She was going to bruise.

“It does not hurt that badly. It just hurt at the time, he was squeezing my hand.” she whispered to me, avoiding my eyes again. I clenched my jaw slightly, but relaxed myself as I repeated in my head that she was mine and she was here with me. She was having my baby, we were going to be together. No one would hurt her, prince or not.

“Clara... I won't let someone hurt you again, okay? No one is ever going to speak to you that way or touch you that way again. If they do, I swear to god, I'll-”

“Just hold me, Harry. Let's just get some sleep, okay? That's what we need, sleep.” she decided, staring at me with unsure eyes on a steady face. I nodded slowly, letting her pull me back into bed before removing her robe and getting in with me.

Once we laid down, I pulled her into my arms and felt her relax finally. Her soft skin against me was heavenly and she just seemed so comfortable in my arms. That was reassuring in itself. And the stupid boy prince was gone which means it was just me and her and... and our baby. We were going to be a family whether anyone likes it or not.

And I can't wait to spend my life with her.

 

(A/N: I originally said this was going to be three parts, but I didn't realize how many more scenes I wanted to add, so it will be four parts.)

**Author's Note:**

> Harry Styles as Harry  
> Caitlin Edwards (roughly) as Queen Clara  
> Francisco Lachowski as Micah  
> Ben Allen as Judah  
> Ronen Rubinstein as Teodor  
> Francia Raisa as Reene


End file.
